Spellotape
by Hufflepuffling
Summary: Ron wants to kill anyone that touches Ginny. Ginny snogged Harry and can't keep her mouth shut. Harry determines the best remedy for Ginny's big, fat mouth.


The thing he envied most about Muggles, Harry pondered into his third glass of butterbeer, was that they had an uncanny ability to ignore the obvious, something he was never very good at. He highly doubted that Dudley would notice a girl's affections for him, not that a girl ever would fancy Dudley, that is.  
  
It wasn't that he minded be fancied by a girl, really. He just minded that the girl that fancied him just happened to be Ginny Weasley. It wasn't that Ginny looked like a troll or anything, but she just happened to be related to Ron Weasley, who had told Harry flat out that he wasn't to mess around with his sister. Period.   
  
Despite this all, he found himself getting pulled into the second-floor girls' lavatory by the red-haired sprite, completely under protest, and receiving the snog of a lifetime. Now how was that his fault? Ron would find some way to blame it on him, though. He'd say that there was no way a boy who had fought off You-Know-Who couldn't fight off a little third-year girl.  
  
Well maybe he didn't want to fight her off. Maybe, after he got over the initial scare of someone dragging him away like that, he liked snogging Ginny. Harry wasn't a great judge of snogs, mind you, as Ginny had been his very first, but he thought it had actually been particularly outstanding, thank you very much.  
  
There was one itsy-bitsy problem, though. There was the tiny matter of discouraging Ginny from telling the entire house that her little 'Grab-Harry-and-snog-him-in-the-closest-available-deserted-room' plan had not just gone through accordingly, but had succeeded in making Harry, at the very least, aware that she was an extremely desirable female. When Ron found out, he was fairly sure he would be receiving an Unforgivable Curse, or else a curse that did horrible things to his lower appendages.   
  
Harry couldn't suggest to Ginny that they keep 'them' fairly quiet, either. Because Ginny would resent it and he was sure that Ron wasn't going to like that either.  
  
He should have ignored her little crush from the start. If he hadn't of given her that teeny-tiny little hug after he received that stupid Valentine, then he never would have ended up in that lavatory to begin with. Dudley would never of realized that it was Ginny that sent him that Valentine. In fact, Harry reckoned that if Dudley received a Valentine, he'd reckon it was from Piers Polkiss and not a girl at all. He should have just ignored Ginny entirely. It was the safe thing to do.   
  
Because now, either way, he had a psycho, red-headed Weasley coming after him.  
  
Hands covered his eyes. That would be Ginny.  
  
"Guess who," she said, her voice breathy, reminding him of how she had sounded after she'd drawn away after their kiss.  
  
"McGonagall." Harry snickered into her hands. The excessive amounts of butterbeer had his head spinning.  
  
"Guess again."  
  
"Aw, but I want it to be McGonagall. In purple, lacy knickers…"  
  
Ginny dropped her hands and took a seat across from him, looking rather disgusted. "Purple, lacy knickers?" She wrinkled her nose. "Ew."  
  
"Hey, McGonagall needs love, too."  
  
"Yes, but I think you should be more interested in my knickers."  
  
Harry swallowed. "Um… about that."  
  
"What? What is it?" Ginny looked pissed, and she hadn't even waited to hear what he had to say.  
  
"Um… your brother is going to kill me when he finds out about us."  
  
Her expression eased a little, probably because he had referred to them as a pair and not as two separate people. Good. That was one less person that planned to kill him. "Don't worry about Ron. Mum can handle him. She said so herself."  
  
"You told your mother?"  
  
Ginny looked indignant. "Of course I did. It was her idea, anyway."  
  
He spit out his butterbeer. "What was her idea?"  
  
"Snogging in the lavatory. She said it worked on Dad…" Ginny kept rattling on then, completely unaware of how thoroughly embarrassed Harry was. How could she tell Mrs. Weasley?   
  
"Do you plan on telling her every time I've snogged you, then?"   
  
"No, of course not. I had to tell her that her plan worked, didn't I?"  
  
Harry let her rattle on then. Ginny was oblivious. He wished he was oblivious to this - to all of it, in fact.  
  
Yes, he decided, smiling wryly to himself. There was only one solution to Ginny's blabbering mouth.  
  
Spellotape.  
  
Harry wondered how many galleons he would make by endorsing them. Spellotape, it's all-purpose! 


End file.
